Everybody Play The Game

2008-07-18T13:40:00.001-07:00

"so you want to start a new life. that's ok. go regain your independence and fly. a result so ugly, a process so beautiful. go and throw it all away and i'll be fine just as long as you don't say it unless you mean it, don't say you love me.

human love has got a shelf life; it gets stale. a born on date an expiration in time.

synchronize watches
set the alarm

as you leave i'll hold the door with a smile just as long as you don't say it unless you mean it, don't say you love me.

somebody told me that love falls like rain. sooner or later it comes back down again in a vicious way."

Jolene, as nobody can bear witness to our final week, maybe a song will do.

2008-04-14T01:33:00.000-07:00

I've had to avoid a circle and a couple of dreams. I'm sorry and I will help. But I'm still moving forward. There's nothing to stop for.

2008-02-26T13:16:00.001-08:00

I was just thinking if you can't get your job straight, why bother fantasizing about bonuses. I'm on to you.

2008-02-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, in order to salvage what you love, you develop a strength to take down your own shield. I am no sexist, but you know when you say something right and your mother walks away but only in agreement?

Sometimes, you're born to hold a shield anyway and you know it's use. It's been nice to know I am bigger than my body.

2008-02-05T14:18:00.000-08:00

You guys know goddamn well what you planned. And look at how you ruined it. Better choose your words wisely. You don't wanna say goodbye to the thousands of dollars you've spent and most importantly those long years.

2008-01-24T11:10:00.000-08:00

Damn you if you feel the same way. You made my neck prickle, how dare you!

Anyway.. Damn you, Raj, do not tempt me to re-start the band again. And damn you, Elffie, for bringing back After You and Table back into my life. I dunno how fucking long it's been since I heard those songs and you and Arron just had to bring it back. But, by the way, I really really loved it.. You see, it's even weird to say something so simple like that.. haha, but I guess right now after typing all that out, I really can't give a fuck.

In my heart, the only band I die to see living is B-Quartet. But deep down, really really deep down in the bowels of my very very old computer, lies all and I mean ALL the songs I've written for Page and only a damn handful has been played, let alone how little has been performed.

Yes, I do feel that justice has not been made to Page. God, I feel like a bitch! Fuck. But one of the happiest days in Page was when I was at a petrol station, and Elffie calls to play a song he just wrote. Even through the phone and all the noisy crap on the road outside, the melody really just shone. I was like, "God, man! When are we doing this?!"

But we never did.

If you were in my shoes, you'd feel like Charlie Brown.

Thanks, Linus.

2008-01-19T23:32:00.000-08:00

I think I'm out of school.

I'm slow.

I tend to do things before I think them through.

I do things for me, not for you.

I do not judge you, so keep your judgement to youself.

I like being quiet.

I enjoy listening to people talk so I know not to be an asshole like them.

I do everything for a reason. Everything. But mostly for the reasons I can't think of.

I have an unbelievably strong desire for my band to make it.

I will NOT do just ANYTHING to get what I want. First and foremost, I do not want other people dying.

"I submit to you that if a man has not discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live."

I am willing to die. Just not that prepared.

I am powered by temptation most of the time.

But mostly I'm powered by laziness and selfishness.

2007-11-22T12:22:00.000-08:00

I miss my younger brother.. He's in Sarawak..

Past few weeks have been quite heavy. Goodness, I feel shitty about not going to school. But I guess there are alot of things in life that have to be prioritized. I don't know what to think. Seriously. I'm really blurred by so many things that have been happening these past few weeks. Work aside, my family has become very important to me. Yeah, I used to ditch them and like go straight to my room. Really not giving a shit about them. But as of late, I feel I'm in the deepest debt ever. It's quick how a rusty needle and a concussive fall can make you change your mind about the family you leave behind for the past 7 years. Yes 7 years, after a dreadful period in 2000, I decided that life is no longer the same without a strong figure. Like, damn you damn everyone. I couldn't trust anyone. God, I just can't on my 2 feet since that day. Things are gaining speed, and I can barely breathe. Feel like I'm caught in suspension.

Hehe, just a little insert of a song.

My blog is boring, go read another one.

2007-10-24T11:52:00.000-07:00

If you believe in only what your eyes tell you, then what's the use of your skin, nose, tongue and EARS.

I was right about heaviness.

Remember the saying if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself? Can't even do it can you? Poor reliant bastards. I've left the monochrome, I can leave the chocolate.

And spending money as much as you spend time, is really not wise. I'm glad, Pat Smear is coming to town.

I love Pat Smear.

On a different note, if you think you can get away, i'll rat you out! It's a contest, I swear.

2007-10-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna pull off a Pat Smear. Watch me.

Finally, the moment has come when I know, truly, the meaning of having something stolen from you. You have made a good friend out of the years that have come to pass and now, you wish you never saw a future with it. Possibly, the meaning of friendship for me has corroded. I can't believe this. I just can't. I'd love to think of it as a phase, but just how long til a phase dies?

I believe I'm guilty by association. It's a contest, I swear.

Watch me Saturday. Pat Smear's coming to town!!!!!!!!

2007-08-12T03:29:00.000-07:00

School is over:

Hell yeah! No projects, no waking up early, no snow rooms for 6 weeks!! This is the ultimate opportunity to do SOMETHING!!

Show:

It's time to practice practice practice!!

Recording:

Fuck yeah! Page's going to record soon! Next Tuesday!!! SHIIIIITT!!! B-Quartet's recording going fine and dandy and swell and well!!

2007-08-04T06:25:00.000-07:00

"Ne Cede Malis" - do not give in to misfortune

Twinkles has got to be the craziest pedal I've ever heard of. Made by

Seekz Stompers

Go check it out

2007-07-24T12:22:00.000-07:00

It's a wonder why you allow yourself to blindly (and openly) blast at people for what they are, instead of who they are. Fuck you, Andrew. Fuck you!

Oh and yeah to the rest of you who are flaming Andrew, just because he lives in my country, DOES NOT MEAN SINGAPOREANS ARE PIGS, SCUM OR SHIT! Get your facts right and start thinking straight. Sheesh, dumb asses.

Andrew, you know where you come from. Why don't you do us a little favour and get back to where you come from. Everybody gets enough shit in life, why take a dump on us?

Just cuz we're brown or yellow, does not give your rosy ass a chance to take a dump in my country and say whatever the hell you fucking want! You suck.

To the rest of you bloody racist shit heads, if we decent people don't get our chance in life to bash your skull in, then we'll all see you assholes in hell.

2007-07-20T11:40:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, thought you all might know that B-Quartet's got it's myspace up at myspace.com/bquartet! .... K that's it about that!

Thanks, see you guys at Baybeats!

Saved from the wreck

2007-07-18T01:34:00.000-07:00

Here's something all of you should know. If you don't know the truth, do not judge. If you can't name the facts, do not judge. If you can't point a finger at the evidence, do not judge. If you only know the ending to a story, don't make the beginning up.

2007-06-27T13:51:00.000-07:00

Why I have so much respect for The Obs and Electrico is because since a very long time ago, they have been playing music and until both their debut albums were released, they shocked Singapore that GOOD MUSIC can be made BY SINGAPOREANS. When I said 'a very long time ago', I'd mean more than 10 years before.

Can you believe it? 10 years! And they have never stopped. I mean, well, The Obs weren't formed back then I guess. Neither did the current line up for Electrico. This somehow strengthens my point when I say, EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ALONE (Leslie, David, Dharma, William.. just to give a few names!) their strong desire to create music has been on their side. Well of course, it should be! Look where they are now.

Moving to the present day bullshit we get, many of us, if you've been ticked the past few days, wonder how can someone have a heart to say that it's not just gonna be Electrico fuelling the rock scene.. Ok, first of all, fuck you, second of all, you must have a lot of balls to say that, third of all, you're 100% inaccurate about the statements you make regarding your band fuelling it harder than them.

Let's face it, your band may get fans, but I guess your fans are nothing short of deaf. Will your fans really follow you down the road for 10 years after all the weak covers you've been doing? You guys are an awful representation of the dead and done. Give some respect motherfucker. At least to the band you're covering, and of course to Electrico. Shit dude, if you get exposed (which you did), I dunno how many fucking people are gonna fucking beat you to the bone.

And to the people who are reliving the glam rock era, please don't shame it. Guess it's a hype then. How could you shame something you love? It's impossible. If it was just a passing fad, you wouldn't look too far into it. Therefore, I have hope, that all you little faggots will be crushed.

Last but not least, FUCK YOU

2007-06-12T10:01:00.000-07:00

ROCK THE SUB (B-Quartet)
was fucked up.

PLAYERS FOR GOOD (Page)
was nice.
Evan is nuts with drumsticks.

Recording at Snakeweed went alright today.

2007-05-25T15:05:00.000-07:00

Feeling nostalgic. Thinking about my childhood again; how much I miss it, how I'd do just about anything to go back and stay there.. Feel like it's been a long long time. What made my childhood great were the movies or cartoons I've been blessed with! Some I still have, some have been sold for much needed cash. Fucked up right? Selling away your childhood for some junk we need called money. Well money ain't junk if you use it right I guess.

Tom & Jerry, Ferngully, We're Back, Land Before Time, lots of Charlie Brown and lots of really great cartoons on TV. Worst part is I can't remember the channel's name!! Some 'ma-me-mo' was on it, I used to catch Hi 5 when I could, and right before that I'd watch Jim Button while eating food my mom bought for me in the morning. I do remember Jim Button came on at 5pm of the day. There was Lupin. There was TINTIN.. God.. I wanna go back home.. I feel sick..

2007-05-13T06:59:00.000-07:00

Just when I was thinking that you're somebody who means a lot to me, everything drops all over again.

Enough emo. Time for grunge!

Went for Prac 5 revision with Funeral for Fenderson. Everything went smooth until I fell off the plank!! Dammit!!! Oh well, grunge! Surprisingly everything else went fine. So that's great!

Page will begin performing at China One on Mondays starting tomorrow.

That's great cuz I'll get enough sleep for class on Tuesday.

I would like to extend thanks to my girlfriend and my friends for being supportive of my endeavours. Also, I would like to thank Vanessa Ban for somehow inspiring us to QUICKLY FINISH Page's EP.

DRAW!!

2007-05-10T09:20:00.000-07:00

I've had it. With everyone going against us. Saying we're not going too far with this. It's probably temporary. Not even willing to hear a second of what we have to say when we've heard EVERYTHING that you had to say. Pulling our shirts and tossing us around. All of you. Every single piece of shit friends that we had, you made us look like toys. I've had it with us licking all of your fucking balls. Yeah, we've faced the truth alright. We get nothing in return for being your dogs of war. A dirty fucked up war in a place where society has thrown all the shit in the fan.

Oh and where's the common sense and integrity in the rights of and as a musician?!

We've taken enough damage and now we're gonna fuck you. We're gonna fuck all of you.

This goes out to all the fucking posers, backstabbers, liars and all you pieces of shit we used to call FRIENDS. Fuck all of you. Fuck you for who you were to born to be.

Bastards..

2007-05-04T10:17:00.000-07:00

Woooot!

Getting a full day break is so fucking hard these days. However, as much as that sentence sounds like it's such a bitch, it's really not!

I would like to say thank you to the kind DMAT classmates of mine for choosing me as a part of their projects. Be it big or small, I will be honoured to have a role. I haven't been the best of guys but recording and performing music for life is a dream and it's slowly coming true!!!

Meantime, there is just so much excitement in the wait of performing with my friends from You And Whose Army (which you must go and hear!! http://www.myspace.com/yawamusic ) at Barnone this 28th May!!

Next I shoot up to the skies because I'm so happy a gig offer in almost a year has come by.. for Page. Although it's acoustic, it's still music! It would be at :

Hwa Chong JC on a Wednesday at 11am.

I'm not sure if outsiders are allowed into the venue, so I'll have to check. Mentioning this right now could be considered void, but who gives a dice anyway.

k ttyl

2007-04-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

I have to get this off my chest.

Maybe you could tell us how we could do so much when we don't even have enough money to book an hour of studio recording. Maybe you could tell us how we could do so much when we don't have time to enter a studio and rehearse.

Are you fucking suggesting to us that we should quit and get back on our daily Singaporean lives? We're not gonna get beaten down by you or anyone else.

How many people turned up to U2's first show and still decided to play? How did Kurt Cobain manage to live under a bridge and still decide to wake up the next day? How long did Mika had to wait until he got Grace Kelly as a #1 hit?

We've got more love than you, man!

P.S. I know I don't have much floor decorations. I'm not gonna start to beat you to it. Thanks for being truthful though. We like that.

Oh and on another note, if you don't wanna practise or get more focused, please FUCK OFF!

Oh and on another bloody fucking note, if all you're gonna use is your mouth, at least wash it. It stinks so bad.

2007-04-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

Today has been such an eventful day. Though this entry (or rather the whole blog) would be better accompanied with pictures, my camera has died and my phone is without the much needed cable. So that just SUCKS!!

But anyway, today is a good day!

Woke up and met Luq the Man to help him record his song. I do not know the title, nor do I know the band's name, BUT, the song is really well crafted. I couldn't stop listening to it yesterday night.

So we headed down to McDonald's to get some always-asskickin-good-ol' cheeseburger, and waited for Ahmad Einziger-Mayer (and that's given cuz he plays like Einziger and his hair is like Mayer's).

Blablablabla we're gonna record the drums but they couldn't pump up the metronome!! So, adding to my list-of-grunge-things would be having recorded the song with the aid of puny-level metronome ANNNNDDDD Luq the Man conducting!! It was so cool becuz it fucking worked!!

Doing the bass was great too, cuz I got to pick all the way throughout the song while imagining i'm Adam Clayton. So yeah, that was great haha!!

ONWARD TO SNAKEWEED!

Got there and met the MAN Leonard Soosay. The very very cool thing about the studio is that, we could smoke! In and out of the control room! Oh man, felt like Navarro for those 7 minutes. "Smokin in the studio.. is the shit, son!"

Meanwhile, before I began tracking, the rumors about a certain something gave me the fucking creeps but remembering what Bonk said (and thanks for coming down, btw!), I just went up to the attic and did drums. It was cool, we managed to track a couple songs, had lengthy chats about local bastards and bullshitters. Shit, you guys, these assholes really have a thing coming their way, or, I would be losing my faith in humanity and KARMA!

But, I'm always happy to know there is such a thing as karma. May the Karma Police fuck you up, bitches!!

Can't wait to go back to Snakeweed. It's the SHIT!

2007-04-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night at China One was fantastic! Probably the best night I had working in a pub. It started like a bitch (even goes back to 4pm of the day!) and ended like a KA-POW! A good one at that! Damn, we're so happy..

Anyway I promised Faizal I'd write this. He did the most grungest thing EVER! Barbed wire wall? He threw his guitar over the fence and it got caught in the barbed wire and I had to try and get it out of that skin tearing mess! Fortunately my skin didn't get torn apart however unfortunately the guitar fell off the barbed wire onto the ground. As soon as I got home I started checking the electronics and the tunings and everything is perfectly fine.

Oh by the way, if you come down to China One, I'll buy you a drink, sure, but you have to sing a song! Thanks to Dennis for being such a sport. Go Turkey!

And Julie CAN BE A BITCH! But she's not.

Last but definitely not least, it's been great being with you for 13 months and I'm sure as hell looking forward to more!! Yippee-ki-yay motherfucker!!

2007-03-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

Finally!

Aafter 3 days working full shifts at the Substation, the theatrical events 'Fantastic Mr. Fox', 'What Are You Doing?' and 'Blubber' are finished.

The kids are either really talented or their teachers have very amazing teaching talents. Wow. Can't tell if they're British or Australian. They used mate and they used bollocks. Hmm.. oh what's an asian boy to do..

Yay, I have some or little experience doing theater works. Bye

2007-03-15T00:18:00.000-07:00

Shoutout to my pal Shaquet for tagging along to the studio. It would have dreadful if I went there alone! Grunge!

Some good things and bad things happening. Probably a well balanced life you could say. But to those affected, count your blessings. Damaging yourselves with bad thoughts will harbour nothing. Positivity, beb!! Positivity..

Dude, we rocked and we still love you!

2007-03-05T14:36:00.000-08:00

Experiencing turbulence in a relationship? Need a friend.

Listen to Space by Mourning Widows and it will listen to you.

2007-02-24T10:03:00.000-08:00

HOW MANY KEYS ARE ON YOUR KEYCHAIN?
No keychain.

WHAT CURSE WORD DO YOU USE THE MOST?
'Sial'

WHAT TIME IS YOUR ALARM CLOCK SET FOR?
Usually 12-ish

DO YOU WEAR FLIPFLOPS EVEN WHEN IT’S COLD OUTSIDE?
Yeah, I wear them most of the time.

WHERE DO YOU BUY YOUR GROCERIES FROM?
Giant. Or any shop that's open near my place.

WOULD YOU RATHER TAKE THE PICTURE OR BE IN THE PICTURE?
Of course be in it. However I don't mind taking the picture.

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Ghost Rider.

IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY, WHAT ARE THE FIRST THINGS YOU WOULD BUY?
I would buy studio time to record music, pay a good photographer for official press shoots, pay for CD printing and pay to send the CDs over to labels outside of Singapore.

HAS ANYONE EVER CALLED YOU LAZY?
For the wrong reasons, yes. I'm not lazy when it comes to something I love doing. Nobody is.

DID YOU EVER TAKE MEDICATION TO HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP FASTER?
No.

DO YOU PREFER REGULAR MILK OR CHOCOLATE MILK?
Regular milk. Cuz it's tasty and milky. Yeargh.

HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU A SECRET THIS WEEK?
Nope.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER?
Burger King, which has gotten expensive!

DO YOU WEAR HOODIES OFTEN?
Nope. Never owned one.

CAN YOU WHISTLE?
Sometimes. I hate whistling anyway, it's high pitched and it gets irritating!

HAVE YOU EVER PARTICIPATED IN A PROTEST?
No. Protest in Singapore? GILER! (that means crazy!)

LAST RESTAURANT YOU ATE AT?
Burger.. King?

WHAT DID YOU DO YESTERDAY / WHERE WERE YOU?
I was jamming with Youthwreck at Amphife (where we always always jam and it rocks there!). Blew my brains out screaming and just being a Taylor Hawkins/Dave Grohl wannabe!

DID YOU WATCH CARTOONS AS A CHILD?
Yeah!!! I still do! Just not as much.

HOW MANY SIBLINGS DO YOU HAVE?
2. One older, one younger.

ARE YOU SHY AROUND THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Sometimes. Depends. If you poke humor at me, I think you have succesfully un-shy-ed me.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST REGRET?
No big regrets. All is fine and well.

WHEN WAS THE TIME YOU LAUGHED SO HARD YOUR SIDES HURT?
When Fadil made fun of geeks who speak to each other.

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU KNOW EVERY LINE TO?
I don't know every line, man! My younger brother does though. He has supermemory and he can sound almost exactly as the person who speaks.

DO YOU OWN ANY BAND TEES?
Yeah, Silver Sun, Dave Grohl/Foo Fighters (made with love by love) and Jamiroquai.

HOW MANY CHAIRS ARE AT YOUR DINING ROOM TABLE?
No dining table. Grunge house.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SALAD DRESSING?
No!

DO YOU READ FOR FUN?
Yes!! It's become a habit!! And I love it!!

CAN YOU SPEAK ANY LANGUAGE OTHER THAN ENGLISH?
Malay.

DO YOU DO YOUR OWN DISHES?
Sometimes

WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR ROOM PAINTED?
I don't have a room to myself.

HAVE YOU EVER CRIED IN PUBLIC?
Yeah man, it was embarassing at first but if you don't cry, you're made of stone!

ARE YOU USING A DESKTOP OR LAPTOP?
Desktop.

WHICH DO YOU MAKE: WISHES OR PLANS?
PLANS!!!

ARE YOU ALWAYS TRYING TO LEARN NEW THINGS?
Not always. I would love to, but learning new things would involve money. I'd sure love to go fishing one day!

ARE YOU CURRENTLY WANTING ANY PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS?
None of that for me.

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE GUY SHOULD PAY ON A FIRST DATE?
No. I don't win your heart by paying for you.

WHO WAS YOUR FAVOURITE TEACHER?
Cikgu Asmadi!!!!

HAVE YOU EVER DATED SOMEONE OUT OF YOUR RACE?
Yeah. I've never dated anyone of my own race before.

WHAT IS THE WEATHER LIKE NOW?
Cool, chill, cold, maybe its my fan.

WOULD YOU EVER DATE SOMEONE COVERED IN TATTOOS?
Yeah dating can't hurt, but if someone's going deeper then I'm not pursuing.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE CLASS BACK IN WHERE YOU USED TO STUDY?
Maths, but my teacher Mr Chin has his moods. Bad moods are really bad and good moods are not bad. I loved Maths cuz he explained the power of having a concept.

WHAT PERSONALITY TRAITS ARE A MUST-HAVE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Chill, grunge and willing to help me ask strangers when I don't have the guts to.

HAVE YOU BEEN ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE PHYSICALLY UNATTRACTIVE?
No, I haven't.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT ON THE FLOOR?
Shit, I think that was at City Hall.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
n/a

DOES YOUR CLOSEST STARBUCKS HAVE A DRIVE-THRU?
Yeah, is there one in Singapore?

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
No. But it's alright. FOR NOW. Later, it's going to be better.

HOW MANY HOURS OF SLEEP DO YOU NEED TO FUNCTION?
7 hours

DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST DAILY?
Lately, yes!

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING THAT SCARED YOU?
Cockroach, yeah. Hate it!

ARE YOUR DAYS FULL AND FAST-PACED?
Yeah kinda. I'm not hoping for it to be less busy though!

DID YOU EVER GET IN TROUBLE FOR TALKING IN CLASS?
Nope.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FRUIT?
Appppples and bananananananas

WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING RIGHT NOW?
Heroes and House.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS?
Yes, if there weren't, it'd be an awful waste of space.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO PISS YOU OFF?
I don't remember.

DOES YOUR CRUSH HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND?Yes. Coincidentally, my crush is my girlfriend. (Haha, nice answer, baby!)

DO YOU GET ALONG BETTER WITH THE SAME OR OPPOSITE SEX?
Same I guess.

WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR YOUR FIRST HALLOWEEN?
Never celebrated halloween.

WHERE DO YOU WORK?
Not anywhere at the moment.

DO YOU LIKE MUSTARD?
Not really.

WHAT DO YOU TELL YOURSELF WHEN TIMES GET HARD?
Grunge.

WOULD YOU EVER SKYDIVE?
Yeah, to lose weight.

DO YOU SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE, TUMMY, OR BACK?
Tummy/Side

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ANGELINA JOLIE BEING PREGNANT?
I don't think of anything.

DO YOU ENJOY GIVING HUGS?
Yeah, to my girlfriend and close friends and my mother.

WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE FASHIONABLE?
Not at all. I'm very insecure about that.

DO YOU OWN A DIGITAL CAMERA?
Yeah man.

WHAT CELEBRITIES HAVE YOU BEEN COMPARED TO?
Dave Grohl and Jakob Dylan.

DOES IT ANNOY YOU WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY’LL CALL YOU BUT THEY NEVER DO?
Sometimes.

ARE YOU A VEGETARAN?
No! Only Salad Days. Meat and vegetable cannot meet in my stomach.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Dust

ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
I used to be psycho level!! But now I'm okay I guess, I hope! I hate being jealous, you're just wrinkling your face!

WHAT’S YOUR OPINION ON SEX WITHOUT EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT?
Charlie Harper, Joey Tribbiani.. not bad!

IF YOU WERE BORN AS THE OPPOSITE SEX, WHAT WOULD YOUR NAME HAVE BEEN?
Lisa.

2007-02-06T11:42:00.000-08:00

This is gonna seem egoistic but I'm just in this mood and (I can't describe it) here goes.

Those of you who don't really know me, won't feel comfortable reading this. If I learned one thing good for myself, don't wallet your admirations and emotions. It's a waste of life. Don't waste your life, you've only got one to live. Cliche, but fuck it! It's real!

Youthwreck
Funniest bunch of people I have ever met in my life. We started out with Reefye and Imran. One by one left, and one by one came in. Marc, Yazit, Athif and also Faizal who gigged once with us. Haha! I have never ever hit drums as hard before I got in this band. I've learned one thing that will stick with for the rest of my life, which is Grunge.

Thrashing cymbals, throwing them, hitting guitars with sticks, jumping off cabinets, playing in my boxers!!

To Fadil Bagedil Chickadil Crab Pizza, Yazeid Paul Jones and Hasshim Thayil... GRUNGE!!!

B-Quartet
The band I've spent spilling blood, sweat and tears since it's inception. I love the guys in the band to bits. Haykal, Faizal and Raizan. Haykal, who I once underrated as some kind of maniac. Faizal, I once labeled some kind of narcissistic freakazoid. Raizan, just too funny and too quiet at the same time! But they've been the people to shape me musically and make me aware to NOT be a FREAK myself! Personal space and Shoebox are my favourite tunes, but of course, I love the rest too.

To all of you who bought 'The Smitten Bard'. I fucking want/have to re-do that thing again because I was just totally rushing in and rushing out of the studio doing that thing. It's a mistake you shouldn't do when doing a cd with a band you love. Mark my words, I will do that whole thing back again. That's really not a good bookmark!!

Page
UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

Well, I can only say it's amazing I can realize what I can't do without having these bunch of people in my life.
You guys rock too much and you shouldn't stop!

2006-12-17T09:36:00.000-08:00

First off, Happy Birthday to Shakir! That night was so cool! Celebrating a birthday with closest buddies is great! So great, I can't forget that night. A Doraemon birthday cake and of course, a Foo Fighters tee! Speaking of which, Effy himself did some online shopping for a Foo teee.. Niceeee.. Think I wanna get one too.. and Jose should as well.. Foo freaks!! Haha happy birthday Shakir, we love you dude!

And and and! Went down to the Swee Lee sale. Wanted to get a MIDI pickup thing for the guitar so we (my brother and I) could incorporate the use of computers with a guitar. Yes yes much like Jonny! In the end, we didn't get that. However, my brother bought me a nice surprise. Ok nice is an understatement. A very fucking huge surprise! He was so grunge and he just went and did it. I can't fucking believe it. I love him to bits!

2006-12-14T06:45:00.000-08:00

I can't give a fuck about your technicality (theoretically/practically).
I can't stand you bragging.
I can't understand why you age but you don't grow up!
I can't imagine what you're thinking in your head about your cleverness/talent.

I don't mean to be rude but you're not of use anymore.
I don't know what I was thinking before all this happened.

You would need a whole lot of fuck off.

So fuck you 2. Fuck what you think and fuck your uselesness. Go sell crazy someplace else. I'm stocked up.

2006-12-12T23:22:00.000-08:00

My left elbow is fucking up on me.

Just bought the dave grohl story and skin & bones which we watched at eff's place. I wish we were there.

I've begun reading. I find it to be rather healing to read. I'm reading 'Radiohead hysterical and useless'. Thanks arif, you guys should check out his band. Indus Gendi. Wicked songs and tunes.

To the Page listeners, we are releasing a really bruised single.

This will probably mark our first official release. Yes, the EP have spawned a pool of new songs. We are re-thinking the status of the EP.

I'm not working anymore. At least for now. That would probably design better thought patterns for new compositions and relations.

Indus Gendi

2006-11-30T08:22:00.000-08:00

I'm into Mae now. Their songs are alright to me but their sound is damn amazing! It's light yet full!

Siraaj and I just finished 2 new songs. I'm fucking happy we can get work done fast, and all the time that we wasted were fucking fun anyway. Rock on!

DXO contract has ended. E learning has also ended. But I think I still need to work. Not so heavily but yeah. Maybe I could try DXO again. NOT with WMF.

Going back to the studio anyway to complete some songs. Things are looking great. School's alright, MUST's a bitch, but whatever! Fuck you!

Time to smoke and go to sleep.

Remember..

..

..

..

..

??????

..

..

GRUNGE

2006-10-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

I've been very lazy to update my blog. I don't think anybody reads this anway. You're usually a drifter if you're reading this. Heh. Oh hello, by the way! Haha.. And uh.. my internet can suck donkey balls, always disconnecting!

My life's not very eventful. Even if it were, I'd be back home and forget all about them. My memory fails on me most of the time.

Construction around the block are getting on my nerves. The floor's like shaking and it's fucking noisy!

Uh.. I fell another time in the circuit and i kinda ripped a hole on the pants.

Breaking someone's heart is an easy job for you. Can you clean up the mess?

I still believe in grunge but I also believe in goalsetting and achieving them.

It's great someone in there stood up and carried your love.

I'm thankful I'm not awfully disabled like some people I saw at Ju Eng and a couple people I saw at school.

Very similar beginning. Don't turn out like the present.

I'm tired of being lonely. I've been lonely before please God don't bring it back.

I wanna be alone not lonely. I love my alone time. I hate it when I say that.

Argh.. you know what? I'm tired of thinking too much for my own good.

GRUNGE!

Little or no association, leave me alone, I wanna live, stop sucking the blood right out of me!

2006-10-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

Page played the Timbre 'Openstage' show in replacement of B-Quartet. Nice show I guess.

Much apologies if you came down to see B-Quartet. NS kinda does stuff to you that won't make you very happy I guess. We (Page) hope that you enjoyed our set and would be willing to come down to our future gigs.

In any case, if you enjoyed Page's set, we would like to have you know that an EP is on the way! Containing songs from the set we played! We would also direct you to our myspace page which you can find just on the side of this page.

Must say that drummers from both Valium and GSE, are crazy! 16th beats like for a long time. Elfi and I wonder how you guys can tahan! Kudos!

We also saw Desmond and Amanda of Electrico, and a couple familiar faces.

Thanks to Kelvin, Boon, Fendy, Shaquet, Luqman and dearest Jolene for coming down!

Much thanks to Keith for directing us (and also) to Danny Loong of Ublues/Timbre for the show!!

2006-09-28T02:28:00.000-07:00

Just put up a purevolume account.

Click hea!

Purevolume looks sweeet.. Anyway, if you have a purevolume.com listener account, hope you give us a shot!

And if you're looking to hire an acoustic act, solo, duo, trio etc for cafes, pubs, clubs, give me a call at (+65) 90471260

OR!

If you want Page to perform for you, give us a call at (+65) 90471260

Yeah! And we'll settle kettle and deal meal through telephonyone or meetyuppy.

Alright, k chow!

2006-09-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

I'm psyched up for a 2 wheel life on the road!
Was so fucking jealous when I saw Taufik, Talib and Shahrul with their RXZs and 125Z.

Oh dammit! I can't fucking sleep! Stomach burning, ass burps frequently and the usual, tossing and turning.

Speaking of tossing and turning.

THE CHALET WAS A SUCCESS!!
too bad damn short.. next time must do 5 days 4 nights!

Went there, first thing we saw was the foyer/hall which was already kickass!!
Immediately put our bags down, quick check of kitchen inventory and we were
smoking as a family.. goodness it was amazing, that first stick!!

Chilling to the billing, taiti, taboo, PS2, TV and a great view!

I just realized something. When I'm playing taiti and even if it's not my turn, those impartial from the game, please shhhhHHH!!!!

Anyway, stayed up at night with them watching Creep and then tried to sleep but can't.

So Jose, Shaquet and myself went grunge!
We wrapped Big Daddy with tissue, sprinkle pepper on Taufik, Rozi Phua and Freddie Krueger.
Put tissue and aluminium foil in Rozi Phua's hoodie hood hood, and cut up a toilet roll into little pieces and sprinkle away!

Yana and I rode Taufik's RXZ and... YAHOO!!!!!
That was highlight of the chalet.. well in my opinion.. Haha!

2nd day Baby came we chill. Met my friends. Chill. I had chilli dog for the bbq. Baby and I played taboo and she won! Hugs! I miss you so much, why can't I sleep??

That night played Fatal Frame and went as far as we could. Everybody stayed up to watch but one by one knockout. Left Rozy Phua, Shahrul and myself. I went to sleep hugging Baobei's soft pillow that smells like her and wore her sweater because the room was fucking cold which was cool. It was like her hugging me (as she puts it).

Well, she rocks, I wanna apologize for anything and wish my baby a happy birthday!

I hate bad weather and heavy stuff. Perfect mix to ruin a perfect day.
Fuck it!

2006-09-14T12:45:00.000-07:00

I want to be angry first

Fuck kiasu singaporeans
Fuck the IMF (I can't even sit down cuz I'm tired? What?)
Fuck riding MRTs and Buses, cuz you people don't know how to judge capacity!
Fuck J.Lo, cuz.. FUCK YOU!
Fuck curfews, cuz it is pussy
Fuck my internet interruptions

I wanna be happy now

CHALET IS COMING! So more taiti, sheesha (hopefully.. SAMIR!!) and FUN!!
Pay just needs to be collected!
Page playing KFC (somebody thought it meant Kurt Fucking Cobain, well...) is uploaded into youtube.com
Going to finish taking my motor license soon enough! Hope to obtain it by November!
Wrote a few new songs!
I know how to warm up my voice for a gig!

I dunno what to think now

I cut my hair but dunno how to style it.
I pasted alot of ADAT stickers on my helmet but looks like I dunno what.
Warming my voice up for a gig takes 2 fucking hours but it helps.
I can smoke at home but only when everyone is asleep or gone (says my mother)
I think I need new clothes. No long hair cannot anyhow wear grunge fuck you.
Should I grow a moustache? HmmmmmMmMmMmMmMmMmmmmmmmmmHmmmmmmMHmMMHMHMSMMMMMMfUCK YOU!
Should Page meet up with Kelvin? Hmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmmmmmmmmmmm eh? Eh? EH? EH?!?! fy

err..

School holidays are ending. I don't even know if I am schooling anymore. I have been thinking of quitting school and just going NS and study at a different place or just re-enroll later on. Hmm.. but I'm not sure.. I don't want to hold back my ambitions and dreams. Instead I wanna make them come true..

Goodness, the holidays are not really holidays.. it's just time for me to think about what I wanna do with my life.. and there is not much time..

Well on the bright side, I did enjoy on some occasions and they were all great.. So, life isn't so bad when I think about it now..

Her birthday is coming very soon and I am eager to make her very happy!

Oh yeah, here's the link for the video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwkDBhOYQJY

and do visit

http://www.myspace.com/sgpage

Smokey smokersons.. smoke away!!

2006-09-09T04:08:00.000-07:00

Wahahow Mr Fucker strikes again!

WMF says to start work at 9 and I say alright so plans with her got cancelled. He comes back about 40 minutes later while I hang out with my family and says to start at 10. I was shocked and happy, so I could meet her.

To my dismay she has already made plans. So it's okay. But she pushes her plans forward to meet up with me. I feel happy but also damn bad at the same time. Cuz it's happened to me when I have to wait a little longer for a plan to take place and it sucks so I certainly don't want anybody to feel the way I did. But maybe I'm taking it the wrong way.

To add to that, I have only an hour or less to see her then I have to go to good work with sucky partner. WMF is going to get it from me one day, or he's just going to get it.

Here's the good things!!!!!

I'm meeting her!!
I'm meeting fendy taiti and shaquet parquet!!
I PASS MY PRAC 3!!!
WOOOOOOHOOOOO!!! WHEN I FEEL HEAVY METOLLLL!!

Fuck you j.lo

2006-09-04T13:34:00.000-07:00

Hung out with Fendy and Shakir and played taiti as usual, which has always been fun!

Haaaaannnnnggggg oouuuuttt until Shakir had to poop so we got a taxi to his place and he pooped while Fendy and I played some more taiti..

Shakir joined us and I did pole dance, Fendy wanted to spank his Bar Susu and Shakir with basted sia voices still ringing in my head.. So much fun..

Walked back home with Fendy and talked about our own transport which we can't wait to own.. Well, he can.. I still have to obtain my license..

Well, it'll come soon I guess.. I hope.. I hmmm with my baby!

I miss her, she must rub my tummy!

Oh I'm also 68.9kg if I'm not wrong.. I'm getting older..

2006-09-03T09:53:00.001-07:00

Fendy should fight Alim in a game of taiti.. Both are kings..

Shakir is still shredder dark humor..

Wahahow is a FUCKER. Thanks Azlan for hearing me out!!

I think the best person to play with is Elfi.

Imagine your own bandmate changing your sound to crap and accusing you of not practising when he himself has not practised at all and is a selfish, insecure, possesive son of a bitch. Solos like he's Stevie Ray (when he's really not) when you sing. Plays at loud volumes despite the fact that there has been quite a number of complaints about the music being too loud. Sings your lines so loud claiming they are backing vocals. Makes you look like a miserable fuck infront of an audience. Will refuse to understand the pain of another bandmate. Sings with a fucking funny and awful accent. Baby is not beebay. Did is not thid. Captain is not captern. Gets you stuck playing 3 chords for 2 minutes while he solos and claims that soloing infront of a live audience is the only way to practise. Hey, you have a point, but you are taking this way too far and you are not improving at all.

You should just really fuck off, don't play music ever because you can't play and sing to save your life.

Really, don't ruin my holiday and don't ruin my work because you're already on my nerves.

But I'll be patient, because one day, you'll get fired.

One fine day.

P.S.

Fuck you.

2006-09-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

2006-08-28T18:08:00.000-07:00

Finally a skin I'm gonna settle with!

Holidays!

My contract with work has been extended which is good news for just my pockets. Yes. Just my pockets.

You know, some creatures that are walking in my life, have extreme sensitivity and insensitivity. I myself am struggling with the thought that I might belong to that category. But God forbid, I wouldn't want to land in that mess.

Recently my nick in MSN was, If you can't solo, DON'T! Haha, if you're gonna take your men who bring you up down, then don't SOLO! If you're gonna chase my crowd away, then YOU go away. Kau ni sebagai perhiasan pun aku masih boleh hidup. It means, you're only decorations that I can live without.

Don't ruin my holidays and don't ruin my work.

I LOVE JOLENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! k.

2006-07-13T11:39:00.000-07:00

Doing music theory project. Taik! Must present later in the morning at 8 30. Dammit! TAIK!

Jolene msg me 'aku baru sampai rumah.uh makan now.uh sayang kau'

AND THEN AH!! I motivated to msg her in Chinese. But I no idea how to start, HOWEVER, I only know 'wo ai ni'. ANDDENAH! I used the Chinese language in my phone and I tried to type 'wo' and got come up! Den power I started to get the hang of it! To my surprise, correct!! I happy!! Den I want to say 'ok/can' and I remember Jolene tell me that it is 'ke yi' and I rememberd asking Yuan Jie to confirm and he say 'yup' so I say 'owriiiight!'

Den I kiasu want to confirm.. so I ask taxi driver, and he also gabra like dunno dunno.. but he say 'ke yi' also. Then he tell me, he in primary and secondary school never take Chinese. He take Malay. Den I STUNNED! Den he say he is OCBC. But quite cool la.. how the situation was like. It was so cool! You know what is cool??! If you dunno.. ask OCBC k?

Hoobastank new album ROCKS!
SHREDDERR!!!

No la, no shredding, just laughing to myself at how Craig (david, NOT!) / Shaquet Parquet says Shredderrrrr!
Considering abt playing in SP musical, but if it remove my stupid extra module in school, den I OKGO!
But if not, bye bye..
Or maybe someone get the post already? Ooop =x

K nvm.. I bored now, baby go sleep, I do project, BAD COMBINATION!
I miss Jolene. I love Jolene.

Baby, i dunno why, but right now I think you are in a green tshirt, sitting way across of me, I just saw you, I call you, wave to you, and then I... aiyah.. it was Asian Beat 2005 grand finals.. SWEEEEEETTTTTT!!!!!

Pain

2006-07-11T08:56:00.000-07:00

Oh mother
You are such a pain
Oh mother
You are so in vain

Oh mother
How do we help
Oh mother
You never listen

Oh mother
You are just a person
Oh mother
Why oh why

You hurt other people and I feel their pain.

I don't ever wanna be like you.
That is a goal in life.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS HOUSE?!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
CAN YOU PLEASE ACT LIKE AN ADULT?!
you act like a kid. it's horrible what you've become.

Let me help. Please. Let me. Let me!

Fuck is a wide word

2006-07-08T23:32:00.000-07:00

Photo Hunt is fucking fun.
I'm a fuck.

As Soon As I Know

2006-06-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

I may take a long time to heal from wounds of the past.
I won't stop until I'm cured completely.

You're my healer.

I may take a long time to learn a few things.
I won't stop until I understand completely.

You're my teacher.

Alot of things in this life I do not know. I yearn to know. I'm hard to deal with. Everybody knows that and it took everyone to tell me AND THEN make me believe that I'm hard to deal with. They don't have to say it with words out of their mouths or write it on paper.

I took alot of your strength. I took alot of your time. I took alot of your patience. I took alot of things.

Tell me. How am I ever going to repay you?

And when I know how.

I'll repay you as soon as I've learned.

No time for practice. No time for rehearsals.

I'm just going to do it.

"Some people want diamond rings. But I've got my paperclip rings. And everything means nothing if I ain't got my paperclip ring, my invincibility tag, my love for you and you alone."

Never on a Red

2006-06-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

That's it.

We're never on a red. We're happily racing under greens.
Well that's in our head. Which is good whatever it means.

;-)

That's it!

Love

2006-06-13T13:21:00.000-07:00

You're my everything. I couldn't want anything more.

Fine by Me, as long as I'm with You

2006-06-10T13:27:00.000-07:00

The rocketship crashlanded stranded on the moon
Fine with me, as long as I’m with you
Caught in an avalanche buried by the snow
Fine by me, I’ll melt away with you

Most people would rather skim the lake for night time insects
Most will never find what I have found

According to them I’ve lost my freedom
Love ’em and leave ’em is not my freedom
Maybe it’s true I’m a bit addicted
But being with free is simply loving you

Home lazin’ round the tube with nothin’ else to do
Fine with me, I’ll do nothing with you
Can’t sleep the mind is itchin’ bed bugs on the brain
Don’t despair, I’ll toss and turn with you

One mans superstition is another man’s religion
Most will never find what I have found

According to them I’ve lost my freedom
Love ’em and leave ’em is not my freedom
Maybe it’s true I’m a bit addicted
But being with free is simply loving you

There’s nothin’ wrong with space need time to be alone
Fine with me, as long as I’m with you
Chained up in a boiling kitchen can’t escape the heat
Come with me, I’ll run away with you

According to them I’ve lost my freedom
Love ’em and leave ’em is not my freedom
Maybe it’s true I’m a bit addicted
But being with free is simply loving you

Yeah life’s a rollercoaster off the beaten track
I’m not scared, I’m riding next to you
Time flies and then your old years go cruising by
Fine with me, as long as I’m with you

- Nuno Bettencourt

Baby. This is the BEST love song I've been saving to dedicate to you. The actual song is kinda grunge and beautiful melodies for the verses. The chorus is so grunge! Lazy grunge. Very Foo Fighters. But I loved Nuno way before I loved the Foo Fighters.

Sooooooooooooooooooon.... somebody will use my songs for dedications.

Xp

Lol!!! Ok la, I guess it's okay to wish. And it's even better to work for it! Oooh yeah!! GiiddeeeeyuppP!!!!!

I love Jolene

Electric Sheep

2006-06-07T18:04:00.000-07:00

I need to sleep.

Why are there still things in my head?

Why are there still people watching TV?

Why do I need to sleep? Oh, becuz im Tired. =D

Spine Station

2006-06-07T17:34:00.000-07:00

I mooch off. Do I Always mooch off? Man. When the hell am I gonna grow my own fucking spine?!

I'm registering for license Monday with Brandon.

Recording took so long. But the stuff sounds good now. The last times, they were just really blah. And blah is not good.
I just realized something. I can't sing in the studio. There's just something stopping me. Don't stop me! Argh! It's just damn irritating. I had to do line by line of every verse/prechoruses/choruses!!! Line by line!!! Nizam must be pissed but he seemed to have kept his cool if he was.

Back home in a train. Too many people. Too many stops. Too little seats. My right feet hurts. Can't really walk properly.

Fuck you!
I love Jolene.

Creeping back

2006-06-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

I'm sweating bullets.

It sees me running.

It's pulling my face and skin.

I'll have to stop running. I've gotta take it.

Oh, I might (MIGHT) might have found a buyer.
Kinda happy my dreams are coming true.

So creep back on me, eat my flesh, and tell me that everything's gonna be alright anyway.

It's done.. I guess..

My Stupid Mouth

2006-06-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

My stupid mouth,
Has got me in trouble.
I said too much again.
To a date over dinner yesterday
And I could see she was offended.
She said well anyway...
Just dying for a subject change.

Oh, its another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said think before speaking
No filter in my head.
Oh, whats a boy to do?
I guess he better find one soon

We bit our lips. she looked out the window
Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess with the
Salt and pepper shaker.
And I could see clearly
An indelible line was drawn
Between what was good, what just
Slipped out and what went wrong.

Oh, the way she feels about me has changed.
Thanks for playing, try again.

How could I forget?

Mama said think before speaking
No filter in my head.
Oh, whats a boy to do?
I guess he better find one.

Im never speaking up again. it only hurts me.
Id rather be a mystery than she desert me.

Oh Im never speaking up again.
Starting now

One more thing.
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But its all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked, I just wanna be funny.
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire

Im never speaking up again it only hurts me.
Id rather be a mystery than she desert me.

Oh Im never speaking up again
Starting now

- John Mayer

Gravity

2006-06-05T21:20:00.001-07:00

I can't help but sometimes wonder, what would my real testimonial be.

I mean lets face it. I've heard people's.

I'm just scared if it's all the same for me.

Is the world not colourful anymore? Or am I just repeating mistakes A to Z?
Am I a carbon copy?

It'd hurt (but for the best) if somebody else heard mine first.
I probably hurt so many people already.

Aye.

Don't want to hurt anybody. Really.
But I'd have to be hurt anyway.
Gravity pulls my face pulls my skin.
I see it coming.
Start running.
I'm the one it loves.

2006-06-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

I forgot which track in the CD. But I've grown to love the meaning of the song.
Nothing's getting me down until I say so.

I think I'm just tired. And I need a cigarette.
Sometimes saving up doesn't help.

I typed in a fucking long entry and it couldn't be published. I waited since 5 30 am.
How pissed can I get. Pfft. It meant alot to me.
Now that it's gone..
Fuck the world la..

Hello holidays

2006-06-05T21:07:00.000-07:00

Darkness prevails in the absence of light.

Off-

2006-06-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

Listen to me. I wish I could tell if you're a fake or not

and

if your intentions are pure or not.

But no. I'm not granted these powers.

When I begin to imagine that I have these powers, the imagination takes over my life.
What more do I have other than life?

Brain?

I'm not quite sure (what I'm driving at too).
Listen, you steal what's mine, I steal it back, fair and square, pilgrim?

Oh. Oh yeah I could give my trust. I've never really given it to anyone. Not before. I don't recall.
Run back to your post you fucking rabbit(s).

If I want to keep something, don't tell me "how to make a record".
You may look big or small, and I wouldn't care.
You should learn how to walk away.

Hm? What's the matter? Do you feel all tingly inside?
THAT'S HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL!

... right?

I asked about a fucking MILLION times before I took my dive at the "snake pit".
"Yes! Nobody! Nobody!", Bob exclaims.
And it's not a "snake pit" anymore!
How much more exciting could it be?
The angels got together and decided to make a dream come true?
How often does THAT happen?
So many fucking billions of people in the world!
The angels were probably having supper where we were.

The wolf decides to eat the prey-waiting-to-be-eaten.
All I'm wondering is if there's really a wolf (or wolves) and you're that prey.

But I guess you're not. And I know there are wolves out there.

Please don't take love away from me.
A poor boy like me longs to be
In love and forever in love.

I'm not afraid to use that shovel.
I have some sympathy left in me.
Even if erasing is for a good cause.

And these are not poems.

IN OTHER WORDS, darkness prevails in the absence of light.
Where is my faith?

Hehe, still here.

You Bastard

2006-05-28T23:38:00.000-07:00

I can't have half-assed anything.

I want a full bun.

Yeah.

And you kept your words silently. You bastard.

2006-05-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

Jolene.

My all.

My hero. (only cuz I dunno how to spell it the female way. Issit spelt like heroine? Looks like the drug)

My everything.

Everybody play the game.

P.S. I did watch the Da Vinci Code with Jolene. That entry is stale as shit. Well..

I love Jolene.

PAGE IS PLAYING BEATSBAY!!!

2006-05-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

I wanna update on shows:

Youthwreck is playing streetfest:
4th June Sunday, 3.30pm, Youthpark
14th June Wednesday, 6.45pm, Cineleisure

PAGE IS PLAYING BAYBEATS 06!!!!
EYYYYYYEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!
16TH JULYYYYYYYY
7 30PMMMMMMMMMM
Outdoor theater.. Hmm.. Okay la.. Can la..
STILL BAYBEATS WOT?!

Ok finished.

Bumped into Rahmat the other day at SP busstop. Looks tired. Ah well. He's fine I guess. He's Rahmat.

I love Jolene. Schmoopy. Hmmms.. =D

DXO CODE

2006-05-17T18:36:00.000-07:00

Yay!

I'm now working at DXO! 3 nights! Like I've always wanted!

So come on down!

But I hate today.

Because I gotta carry the djembe and my guitar and my bag! To school and to DXO!

And I don't get to watch DaVinci Code with Jolene!

What kind of fucked up feeling is that? Bleargh..

Simple Shit

2006-05-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

Don't say something and DO SOMETHING ELSE!

Fuck man, I'm tired of careless whispers and temporary truths.

2 months!!! Wahoo!!!

2006-05-04T08:12:00.000-07:00

It's now 2 months. It's been EVEN GREATER!! IT'S GONNA BE GREATER!! I LOVE YOU!!

anyway..

I've been thinking until now... that playing streetfest... is a TOTAL WASTE OF TIME!

Cuz.. I was thinking about Page playing it and then I thought.. paying THEM so that WE could play a gig? No fucking way. I'm not keeping THAT in our resume.. Even if I had money and lots to spare, I wouldn't pay for Page to play. It's ridiculous la. It's damn embarassing. Paying to play. Purgh.

I don't call the shots for youthwreck, so I guess it's okay la. But now money damn tight. Shit! So that means I cannot wait to be accepted into DXO and humbly play 3 nights a week. Shiok! Better than FISH & CO!

Back to streetfest.. it don't really matter where i play, I've come to a decision where I think streetfest is lame shit. Lame sound, lame settings. Bleargh. LAME! I want street lamposts behind us/around on the stage, so it acts like the stage lighting. Maybe some rain dripping. So we could take a small shower because we sweat alot.

Streetfest don't have that. But that's ridiculous what i'm asking out of them. Cuz they're lame. But for exposure... hmmm.. okay la, why not?

BUT NO MORE OF THIS SHIT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH TO TAKE ABOUT PLAYING SHITTY GIGS AND GETTING SHITTY MONEY!

From now I shall ask more about the gig. Like technical stuff. Or where it's gonna be at. Or whatever thats important in playing a good show. No more bad rep. That's shit. I give a full ass! 2 buns! No more half assed shows. I'm sick of that shit. I'll get sick of myself if I go on like that.

I must learn to love myself. Thanks, baby.

And to those of you who think that I'm turning shit after saying all this, pls re-think.

Ok ah, grunge is grunge, but grunge is NOT paying to PLAY gigs! I'm always thinking of Page and THAT would be a huge disrespect to my bandmates. I've been through (not alot yeah, but enough's enough!) some of these gigs.. they're probably all streetfest la i think.. and FUCK IT, IT SUCKS!

I believe in playing music makes me live. Keyword, LIVE! Life is good, live it good. Eat your food, pay your bills, love your girlfriend (btw i've been WIFED!), play your music! Rmbr to not pay to play gigs. Pay for recording.

Anyway.. signing off, I love Jolene.

2006-04-16T06:03:00.000-07:00

The great thing about her is that she understands. And that blows me away. I believe we have become even stronger!

I love you, Jolene.

2006-04-16T04:46:00.000-07:00

Hey Yazid.. Do you wanna settle? It's fine, I don't have to be in your band anymore. I just need to settle things and make sure it's all cool.

I'm trying to call you.. PICK UP!

2006-04-16T03:58:00.000-07:00

I'm parched.

I hate repeating myself. But I figure it'd be great if I wrote this down for all to see.

I HATE distractions. I HATE being distracted. I HATE it when somebody cuts in my way. Cuz it's my way. Not yours. Jou understand? As long as I'm conversing one on one with someone, don't butt in and distract me or distract my conversation partner. Don't mess with the wrong bull.

It's not in me to spite these few days. I'd much rather it not happen than me having to spite.

Cuz fuck, if I'm conversing, I do my best to LISTEN!

Fuck the fucking fuck off!

Going down like a lead zeppelin

2006-04-15T15:07:00.000-07:00

Don't fool around. You're never gonna find what you want found. And don't regret. Listen to yourself and you'll know why you're not getting what you want to get.

RANDOM!

I want to say thanks to Izzudin Metrodin for bringing his wonderful set of pedals, which never got used for the show. Ah well.. thanks again man.. they all rock together..

Life is grood. Yes.. not good, not great but grood.

Haha.. yeah I guess you're the only one who knows ;-)

Possums! IMH alot..

Monthiversary

2006-04-03T10:08:00.000-07:00

Life has been great. Gonna be greater! Greater with her!

2006-03-30T22:31:00.000-08:00

Hi

I have just experienced the greatest day to date which was Thursday. Yeah, from 12am to at least 12 am today..

To some people I may look like a person who goes on and on, but that doesn't really bother me. I know that I'm happy knappy bananas jungle and it is only with good intentions that I intend to share happiness.. Wooohoooo!! When I feel heavy metal, Wooohoooo!!

Time to catch up on other things.. drum thing at VCH was bleah bleah bleah argh!!!
Sing song thing for Cikgu Asmado at Bartlo was quite nice..
But I have to thank Chong Meng, Soefian for the opportunity to play the VCH thing and Cikgu Asmadi for the show at Bartley.. Not been there since O level results.. wow.. Good times..

It will never lose it's meaning.
I LOVE YOU, JOLENE!

2006-03-25T14:40:00.000-08:00

I ♥ YOU, JOLENE!

No stopping us

2006-03-22T23:37:00.000-08:00

There is no stopping us. You can't build a wall between us.

27 Hours

2006-03-17T14:56:00.000-08:00

Argh.. it's been such a long and tiring and I might add, rather bad, day!

27 Hours... Oh wow~ Reminds me of songs never sung, of places never existed, of pictures never seen..

I'll always read that message you wrote for me because it puts me to peace and keeps me calm.. It's just so valuable that it grows! I can't say in what ways but it's like hair.. Hair grows.. Or like nails, but hair is just more delicate and fragile.. or is it nails? Argh..

Oh you know what, she Rocks!

I want to ride my bicycle

2006-03-11T12:31:00.000-08:00

I feel I'm still a kid at so many things in life. If I have wronged any of you, please tell me my mistakes. I don't want to repeat my mistakes. Mistakes hurt more than bicycle falls. I'd rather ride a bicycle than make mistakes. Ned Flanders has the perfect rank for me; Pussy Willow.

If I'm bad at this, please forgive me.

2006-03-09T03:50:00.000-08:00

She does more than I could ever imagine
I've moved away from where I've been
Rubbles and dust on the clothes I wear
I was a victim of a very cold stare

And I walk the long road bearing in mind
That there's nothing left for me to find
But I was just another boy who lost his way
And no map to keep certain I'm not going astray

I then felt I should not take the road
Why follow rules when you can lose your load
I discovered control in the empty lands
And we slowly became close friends

While I trespassed this space
Identity looked me in the face
It scared me a whole lot
I fell down like a jackpot

He relayed one simple message
And that message was to be
Look now at the wreckage
You're lost, but you're free

And lost I was in this world
Freezing nights made me curl
I wondered if I would be saved
I wondered if a new path would be paved

Not long after that the answer came my way
My lonesome nights seemed bright as day
I looked at the clouds to realize it'd stopped moving
So did the wind and the stars stopped blinking

Who is this that I have standing in my prescence
My doubts and fears cleared in evanescence
One look at her and I was silent
She gave me a present

What could it be?
What would I see?
I was in for a surprise
I hoped for it to be as glorious as a sunrise

We could speak one language
We could feel one beat
Okay that's it..
THAT'S IT!!

I know little of life and love
But I try
She helped me fly like a dove
I could cry

My dearest one I would like to tell you
I love you so very much
I'm in heaven to know that you do too...

(For The Firefly)

Oh Wow~

2006-03-06T11:29:00.000-08:00

Is there a melting-smile smiley? A smiley that looks like its smile is melting.. IN A WONDERFUL WAY!!

Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow~~~

Let's put it simply, she rocks my world!

Magical

2006-03-01T11:03:00.000-08:00

Lifehouse

2006-02-27T08:55:00.000-08:00

Listening to Jeff Buckley's Grace. This song is really very different! Good different!

Asian Beat is finally over.. 3rd is really great for me.. haha!

On a different note, have you been using me? I'm not your robot. I'm not your machine. Prove to me that I'm worth having a place in your life.

On another note, I feel like singing Everyday by Jamiroquai all day.. I think I'm gonna do just that.. Yes I do yes I do yes I do yes I do yes I do yes I do yes I do.. in the evening light, sweet evening light..

Sinatra

2006-02-19T00:38:00.000-08:00

Year 1 of school has come to an end. Hope I graduate to Year 2 in one piece.

The Crossroads concert was probably one highpoint in my life. I enjoyed the stage sound, but I have yet to hear how the house sounded like, however I'm sure it was really great. Adam Shah beb! Haha..

It was my first time being an MC. Mel and Carm did a great job, because I was there to just say, yeah, alright, let's go, uh huh... wow, Ross was right, I do only say those things.. ah well.. Haha.. I was very very nervous!! Ah well..

To me, the one item that stood out was Esther singing Angel. My friends even said that too. I didn't even have to ask them. Or did I? Oh well whatever it is, we loved it.

I loves The Mars Volta, Adam, Bonk and Arif pulled it off GREAT! Damn shameful sia, they were playing it like how the real guys would and I down there singing like dunno what.. haha.. I went back home to look up youtube to hear what Cedric sounds like when he talks and I thought he sounded like Edward Norton.

And the RATM one was just as great, cuz there was sorta an encore thing going on and Nic suggested we do Cowboys From Hell... I'm very sorry if I didn't pull off that song and do it justice!! It's NEVER easy to play metal, especially Pantera..

Finally the 'Without You' song was the one I loved the most. Because it meant so very much..

DMAT rocks I guess.

On a different topic, Jolene taught me about the ninjas and samurais. Whatever that she told me, can put chun chun sui sui into a situation I know of right now. A very close friend of mine called me up (which woke me up) and damn man, whoever the person is who did all those things.. I pity you..

You don't even know what you want from yourself. You don't know what you want from whatever it is that you do. You have no direction. You don't even have a map in your life I bet. All that matters to you is that you HAVE to look like the good and the right one. Nobody's always good and nobody's always right. If you are ashamed to take blame, why do it in the first place?

And also, if you keep storing all that anger inside of you, where is it gonna go? To the nearest person? Wrong answer. You should have placed them to the people who have the RIGHT to hear your anger because it is about THEM, not you.

So do you come up from people's backs and bring them down, or do you come right up to the people and show yourself? I don't want to think lesser of you. But I define you by your actions, and it's really sad. You're probably losing more than you are winning, have you thought of that? If you haven't, please please please think about it!

If you have, well then I must say congratulations for ending your short-termed dream.

P.S. If you ever fuck me, I'm fucking you to your death. Have a pleasant day.

If it had fingers it'd be tearing it apart

2006-02-16T05:38:00.000-08:00

One more time for the last time.
One more time for release.
Everyone wants to believe.

I'll stick to what I like. And you can go on and on and on and on and on about what you like and I wouldn't change my opinion. Hahaha.. damn man, I'm having like so much fun! You rock..

Yeah, this one's for you only, but the rest of you can read it =) Spread The Love, as AgingYouth sez..

Boonie Weenie Don't Owe You Anything

2006-02-15T00:10:00.000-08:00

I'd like to apologize to Big Daddy, Ray Toro, Rozy "Cheek" Phua and Roti Kaya cuz I made us look really argh! I hope that it won't happen again...

Damn man, still don't know the date to the Suicide Solution gig! Hope it don't clash... a number of commitments..

Nevermind, I need to work more.. I need more money.. Why? I dont know why.. Ask Boonie Weenie Pookie Weekie Daddily-iddly-o..

I'm confused yet again.. Oh well.. Let's not think about anything for now..

GRUNGE!

ARGH!!

2006-02-12T21:43:00.000-08:00

Oh no..

My stupidity and ignorance will be put on display!!

So gonna die...

Little While

2006-02-08T11:30:00.000-08:00

I think my life is alright these days.. I'm beginning to become sane again.. Aw man, for this I gotta thank my buddies.. especially those like Fadilitis, Rahmatdamat, Ashri Bass God, Izzudin Izzy Stradlin, Alim Salute The Master.. and just so many others.. but these days, these guys are the ones that make my day a good one..

I can't believe I get along with Shannen.. She's said so many things that were true about life and love in general.. Great..

By the way.. I'm NOT a substitute dammit! Fuck what you think..

By the way.. I burst a tad much of vulgarities at Starbucks.. It should have been recorded.. It was my best performance.. Fuck.. Fuck you! Pussy Willow!

Lenny.. Since Day One.. I've always wanted to just tell you to quit what it is you love doing.. There's no use man.. You got yourself stuck in a moment, and you can't get out of it..

And dude, there's no use trying to set it all up to.. uh.. 11? Adam, I love you for this man.. And trying to steal my apple.. Ah well you know what? Apple's gone anyway..

And remember.. Fuck yourself with a rubber hose, put it in your mouth and down your throat.. It don't matter if you're straight or gay, you should fuck yourself anyway..

Now you don't have to listen to a word I say.. But if I know you, you'll be humping away..

Oh.. and by the way!!

I dropped my suitcase, walked the long road.. So many things I've not seen..

And by the way!! (last one)

Fairuz, if you're reading this.. I'm just gonna look silly to some people.. I missed you so much..

haha..

I'M COMING BACK!!!!

Guild

2006-01-30T22:14:00.000-08:00

Playing 3 sets, lasting one hour each, totally unrehearsed, haha and the 3 of us were on constant intrument rotation...

SO COOL!!

Just can't believe we lasted through the 3 sets, Elfi, Kelvin and myself..

You're the bullet that brings me down

2006-01-29T18:02:00.000-08:00

Ahh..

What do I say about yesterday night? Hmm.. I know was there at cineleisure, met up with Bonk, Esther and her gal pal. Wanted to eat in cineleisure, but we walked to... I don't know where.. Borders? And finally settled for Fish & Co.! Haha!

I had soup of the day and an iced latte.. That rhymes.. Thats cool.. The 's' is put in diff places.. English..

Anyway we went to chill and Esther and her gal pal were drinking.. Haha.. Just that is funny enough.. We talked and talked.. they took photos.. I finally meet Esther's gang which she always displays in her friendster.. Haha..

Ah well.. misinformed about the train.. argh!!!! Got a cabily-iddily-taxily-doodly.. argh!! Thanks you guyth for lending me monies..

Anyway, yesterday night was the night I realized Esther has nice eyes..

And that not one bit of alcohol can make her.. *ahem*.. hmm.. I shouldn't say it..

Off to jog with Fadil at Costa Rhu.. See you..

Spread The Legs

2006-01-21T10:33:00.000-08:00

I'm not gonna say much about Spread The Love. I love it.. let's end it at that.. haha!

Dear Winnie, I'm so sorry (that rhymes!).. A friend of mine who I had asked to do the print did not turn up for the show, and for the past few weeks, have not been paying bills.. I don't know where he went, but I'm sure it was somewhere important (and dude, it better be! haha.. dumbass..)

Bonk the Clown, THANK YOU!!!! FOR A WONDERFUL WONDERWALLY WHERE'S WALLY GUITAR!! AND FOR YOUR TIKUS PROCO PROCO (tikus means Rat).. Rocks man.. it's so grunge!! Or gwunge (the way mat rep Arep wld say it..) or Graaahhhnnnnge (the way Adam spelt it, and the way Rahmat pronounced it..)

Haha.. Rahmat!! Show me your friend!!! I must know who I deal with!! Muahahahalalala

By the way, if you were at the show, I must, and on behalf of the band.. Thank YOU!!

And I feel so bad for Camra, heard they were a good band.. Sorry dudes, was away buying stuff at Davis and eating the only meal of the day at the great Burger King! Somebody even commented that, "Camra.. my god, steam!"

And it's from a friend who has very similar musical taste as me! So.. I gotta see you guys on your next show.. DAMN THE RAIN.. hope it won't screw up any band's shows..

Peace and Love,
Intertiatic ESP

2006-01-15T21:40:00.000-08:00

Argh..

Bleah..

I dunno la.. I am just very confused.. Do I release it during the gig or not? Do I get that pedal? Do I pay in full for the studio? Argh!

I feel stupid, man.. Didn't do any work. Kena fuck by lecturer.. I am guilty of not doing work.. What's wrong with me? I'm not even studying.. So what's the point of me being in school?

Pay money, then don't study. What's the point right? Bleah..

Nevermind.. Let's take it slowly.. I'm sure I can figure something out to piece myself back together.. I can't let this go on.. It's just stupid.. Very fucking stupid..

My internet is down.. So here I am, in DVPT class.. I keep thinking about re-doing my mtv.. but I have not set foot on doing so.. Isn't that just nice? No, that's very stupid.

So, one lesson learnt.. Try not to be stupid..

Because being stupid is infectious.. Just is.. Isn't that the name of Mustaine's son?

I need to get Foo Fighters' albums. One more time for the last time.

My oh my.. Gig is coming up and we still have not practised thoroughly.. The guitar parts have not been laid down completely.. Will we survive the show? I hope that we will.. but we all know that hoping can't bring anything.. Maybe it could.. we never know..

I feel bad about my guitarist. Stupid army. Don't worry bro.. you're not silenced.. It's just that I've been so caught up with the arrangement of the songs until I've forgotten about the greater parts of my bandmates.. Don't worry, I've figured things out.. We'll play the show and make sure we have ALOT of fun!

Mixing of the EP is on tuesday. Which is tomorrow. I somehow don't feel like going to work. I've taken a week off from work. I think maybe Rifai getting bored of me. Haha.. eh how come I laugh? I dunno.. nevermind.. Life goes on..

I hope deep inside that Rifai would take off from Fish and Co so that I could work with one of my closer peers, naming Fadil. We both are just so fucking broke!

When you're in a home where money is a crucial issue, you somehow feel what its like to pay bills.. or in other words, to let go of your hard earned money..

And it sucks to have your internet down! It's like you can't live! Like only ah.. but yeah, it's very sucky..

Bleah..

I'm gonna end with a : OH MY GOD!

Resolutions-lah

2006-01-02T14:41:00.000-08:00

1. Buy all Radiohead albums
2. Buy all Green Day albums (and live DVDs if they have)
3. Buy all Population 1/Dramagods albums/EPs
4. Sing Iris by Goo Goo Dolls everyday in both E and Eb tunings
5. Play all songs using metronome (for drums)
6. Write more songs about waiting for taxis
7. Air drum Mars Volta songs everynight before I sleep
8. Swim and jog once a week with Fadil
9. NO MORE SKIPPING CLASSES IN POLY
10. NO SOLOS! MORE CHORDS! MORE EXTENSIONS! MORE GROOVE! ROGER MOORE!

Acid Jazz

2006-01-02T14:34:00.000-08:00

It's a new year... Let's not fuck it up! But you know there's gonna be fuckups scattered around waiting behind bushes, just ready to pounce at you. So you know you've got to be armed and ready to be vicious!

And listen to more acid jazz. Sex you up real nice.

Steady Baby

2005-12-31T12:40:00.000-08:00

Horribly long December has ENDED! Come 2006, a brand new fresh year! I'm not listing my resolutions because I'm afraid I won't keep up with it. Rather you see changes yourself than anything else.

Battle of Acid Bar accomplished!! Yeah!! Take that Alicia!! Haha!! If you're around Acid Bar, you'll be under Rouge. I'm beginning to know the staff and bosses there better.. So that's good, new friends, new connections.. always important to have em!

After the acid bar show, went to MusicZone studios to do Rifai's guitar solo for the Youthwreck tune, Down. I really love the solo. It's not a "whack-only" solo. Time and effort was really put into it. We finished the recording at around 7. Fadil and I went back- I had a tele, my bag, my effects bag and another acoustic on one hand. My goodness, my back still hurts!!

Get a call from Joel, "Bani, report to Esplanade at 10." By the time I got home it was like 8. And I had no sleep. So I went for the soundcheck, that my mom for sending me there!! I think ah, without her, I'll be late for almost everything and anything. Late King. I like the sound of that.

After soundcheck, went to Joel's studio to rehearse Trent's whole set, then headed to Beat Merchants to rehearse my band's set. If there is one thing about originals, I make sure I love em. After the rehearsal, went to Esplanade to do the show and then right after that, headed to the powerhouse to do Trent's show.

BONK WAS THERE!

Haha.. that was damn funny la..

After the shows, met Hazel. Was quite surprised to see her there.. I think my class had some kind of gathering.. Haha..

Met up with Fendy Steady Baby, Shaquet Parquet, Yana Kanina and Suhaimi Jais (I still haven't figured the rhyme, bro! Haha! Maybe Sunny Suhaimi or something... k? set?) Had a very very long night! My goodness, it's just a pain to wait for transport back home just now! Eeergh..

These guys are probably the most understanding peers my age. Is that a correct sentence? Pardon me if it was erraneous. I try. Haha!

We talked a lot. A LOT! A WHOLE DAMN LOT! WAH LAU EH.. ALOT LEH.. haha.. ok nvm.. you guys rocks, we should live together in a house in Batam and eat coconut everyday.

On a final note: I think I have officially Quit.

Fuck a dead swine on your daddy's grave homeboy!

2005-12-29T15:05:00.000-08:00

I love and hate working at fish and co. There are many reasons. I am very confused. I don't know which one I lean more toward to; the love or hate. I hate the place because I always get fucked about my guitar playing. I wonder where I am going wrong. There is not a day that goes by that I do not get fucked by this problem. It's been a big bother. It's nothing personal, at least I hope so, and it's always best to take these things positively.

The love part.. my gosh, the love part also has it's love and hates. So it gets even more confusing. I don't even need to ask, all I have to do is sit at the bar and something good comes up. The bad thing is when something good stays for too long and admits too many truths in one moment. I've not been speaking about this openly because it has been rather embarassing! I know now the real meaning of 'melatar'. Or at least I think that's how you spell.

Fadil was there to witness this embarassment I keep facing. I faced a good one once before, and I'm sure as hell not ready to face anymore, at least for now. I wish I never was the person I am. I wish I could just stop wishing!

Anyway I was forced to miss my course chalet's bbq. Hear good things about Arif's satay. Could go there and get a chance to prove certain friends that I ACTUALLY CAN avoid temptation. But what's to prove when you're seen in a bad light? Ah.. life goes on, nobody's stopping, and even if someone did, I wouldn't care anyway..

So after an awful night at work, went recording with Fadil at MusicZone. Old friend of mine, Nizam was there to record the music for us. We did the Youthwreck song 'Down'. I love the way the drums sound. Really do. Hope further mixing will further enhance the product. Er.. what?

Anyway, I'm beginning to think that power is nothing without control. And control is something you don't get everyday. I have no control. I have no hand. But fuck you, we'll see who finishes the race.

Remember that. You may be way older than me and you may put a good impression on people. But watch what you say and do behind my back. Watch your purpose.

Just watch out.

Thank You

2005-12-25T10:50:00.000-08:00

So tell me..

Did you tell me the truth? Or were you doing somebody a favour?

Imagine how big a joke you'd be..

Dummy

2005-12-21T23:54:00.000-08:00

Off to Momo!

Youthwreck!

Yeah!

OMG! Gotta thank Rahmat Damat for this!

p.s: Esther, you are .....

Bye!

Mr A to Z

2005-12-20T22:33:00.000-08:00

Absolutely Zero

Had a ball at Acid Bar! Met a couple from Holland, a group of wilderbeasts from Poland, another couple from Norway.. wow.. you think they'd sound incredibly different from each other but I gotta tell you, they almost sound the same. Maybe it's my hearing? Haha! Well anyway, they are all really NICE people! Really really made each one of us and each other feel at home.. Wow Acid Bar's a long story.. really fucking amazing playing there.. I'd play there again in a second..

I have not started on e-learning.. nvm, will begin shortly..

I am pressurized.. horribly! Never felt this pressed! I finally understand why many friends I know always wished they had more than 24 hours in a day, or something to that effect, I don't know, but you get my point anyway..

Watched Krueger yesterday.. They are really amazing, man! Everybody's just so fucking amazing.. John's voice is just powderful.. The drummer, I'd kill to have his skills.. it's just top notch musicianship..

To that friend of mine.. sing this to yourself..

Say who am I to say this situation isn't great? When it's my time to make the most of it, of course I didn't know that this would happen to me. Not that easy, no.

And listen to more Jason Mraz =)

Do you want to be an Idiot?

2005-12-19T12:14:00.000-08:00

I want to be an idiot. Big fucking idiot. I wanna be a big fucking idiot. Cmon, somebody make me one!

Blue Jade seems to be a temporary name for the new band I'm playing in now. Michael Das, Sultan, Rifai, myself and this Aussie singer, I forgot her name. Top 40s. No R&B, not musically racists though. I love R&B music, just not too much! Can be rather irritating. What with all their babies, asses, boos, girls and boys.. Yeah once in a while feeling la sikit, kan?

Anyway, everything looks very good about this band. Nice people.

One thing to note about December; fucking keeps you on your goddamn toes!

And i'm schooling furthermore. Oh man, this is a challenge. This is the thing that's gonna get me moving! On? Sure! But wait..

Do I really want to? I feel naked.

Wait. I wish you'd wait.

I never should have met up with Darius.

I-.. Weighing the points was the one thing I didn't do.

I wanted a 10.

Hey wait a minute..

Why'd I become so greedy? Why?

Do you bite an apple before you taste it or do you ask someone else what it tastes like?

Hold it.

Replace the apple with a bullet.

Now we're talking.

Choices and Questions the what of life

2005-12-18T10:59:00.000-08:00

I'm torn.

Yet again.

Argh.

Anyway, I'm invited to play with Suicide Solution once again but this time at an Indonesian metal fest. I don't know what it's called, but what I do know is that I'll be playing alongside TESTAMENT AND LOUDNESS!!!!! And many others which I am unaware of. So Rudra will be going with us. That'll be in February.

My job with the sitcom is done. Hopefully I'll get some more shows to do. I really love those small bits! Tan Kheng Hua is such a sweet person! And Lim Yu Beng, ahh.. the botak man with finesse written all over him. Anyway, gotta thank Ash for that opportunity! And Fatul, Molino and Yazid! Haha.. power la..

Gonna play Acid Bar. I'll post dates. Come down yeah, get a drink? On me. And that's only if one of you come down. If there's gonna be 2 or 3 or 4, haha, just enjoy the music =)

Might play even more nights!! Don't know where. But it's late nights. I heard pay is damn good! I may even surpass way further than what my mom earns!!! Wahow! Rifai la, close buddy and partner for months now..

Bro, whatever you've told me has changed me somehow. I don't know if I'm really going to do anything or not, but what I do know is that I feel lifted. Only you know why my mind drifts off like that all of the time.

Can't wait to do recording with my band. I am digging the new material. I guess if you have someone who I would call "unstable" in a group.. your mind will open up. It's like laughing so hard to warm up your voice.

Finished gig with Youthwreck just now. Power. I loved it so much. I didn't know what I was playing. Rifai and I just shoot the burger. Imran couldn't make the show so Yazid did replacement. You guys rock. I have found a deeper part of my energy. And it lies in Youthwreck.

Other than that I am still torn. I'm clueless. Why does it have to be so hard these days? I'm talking choices.

Lines on my eyes

2005-12-13T10:54:00.000-08:00

I've got this feeling somebody's turning his/her back on me. Or maybe shooting me down. Weakening me somehow. I'll let it go for today. And if I see it again, I ain't stopping you.

MEL!!!!! OMG OMG OMG THANK YOU!!!!!
Can you believe the evening I had?

It's a number but it's also 2 people. You don't need to catch my drift anyways, I'm a girl who talks in code. That can be easily decoded.

And uh.. If you want it, you come and get it.

Come come now..

2005-12-11T09:55:00.000-08:00

I read someone's blog which led me to read someone else's blog..
So I'm gonna direct this message to the person who's blog my friend read..

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to agree with what you said. Well not all of it. Just a small part where I felt a pinch.

I got into that relationship because she ACTUALLY (now when I think about it after having read it) was an amazing person. I'm very sure she's matured for her age despite the way I look at how I was treated. I didn't go into it for FUN. I seeked a healthy and a warm relationship.

I apologize deeply (!!!!) to everybody who got involved in the mess I made. You know your names and I'm very ashamed of myself having picked up smoking and many many other bad things. I apologize even to the blogger, if somehow, you are related to or affected by this issue.

I live by Orlando Bloom's rule, "I read this thing that said when you are in a relationship with a woman, imagine how you would feel if you were her father".

Yeah man that's why I was like that. I went to far. Somebody of THAT age had to point it out to me. Can you believe how fucked I feel after hearing what he had to say?

And my final words to the blogger; You have been a very pleasant person to everyone. I'm ashamed I take too many breaks, skip too many classes, pay too little attention....

But hey I'm proud to say that I don't play those flash games in class or anytime anywhere at all though. Haha..

That person in class who has a big head and small shoulders and is actually terribly attractive,
Bani Hidir Md.

Buah kau, bodoh!

2005-12-05T04:28:00.000-08:00

ALL YOU COULD HAVE DONE WAS ANSWER THE PHONE!!!!

What a fucked up day. And I'm so goddamn tired.

DIE YOU CHICKEN FAGGOT MAGGOTS!
The bottom line is that : YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST ANSWERED YOUR PHONE!!!!

You wanted me to come back. You know because you see how much I'm working at coming back. I don't have much time for almost anything. What do I have to do to turn you around? I'm starting to think we don't need us in our lives anymore. That you should disappear.

And you; consider yourself lucky I didn't do all this to you.

And Carmen; Thanks for hanging around. I need you.

Acid Bar

2005-11-28T07:32:00.000-08:00

Played at Acid Bar on both my off nights.

Thoroughly amazing!

Thanks to Olivia for giving me the opportunity to play there. Might be playing Christmas and New Year's Eve if Trent doesn't do gigs those days.. Money money money is honey!

So yay!